


All Over Again

by artificialmac



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-08
Updated: 2016-11-08
Packaged: 2018-09-20 08:16:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9482468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artificialmac/pseuds/artificialmac
Summary: Trixie calls Katya in the middle of the night to lament about another man.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the video of Trixie singing a song she wrote that ripped my cold, dead heart out of my chest. And also by the fact that she went to dinner with an ex of hers.

Katya groaned at the sound of her phone vibrating. She rolled over to the opposite side of the bed and tried to go back to sleep, but the buzzing continued, and she was forced to pick it up.

Her voice was groggy and sounded slightly miffed, “Hello?”

“Hey Katya-Brian, sorry did I wake you?”

Katya sat up straight then, all traces of sleep flew out of her mind. Trixie only ever called her Brian when something bad had happened. “No I was just wrestling with my inner demons. Is everything alright?”

“Yeah it’s all good. I just wanted to check up on you. We haven’t talked in a while.” Even as Trixie said it, her voice cracked.

“What’s wrong Trixie?” Katya spoke softly. A sharp inhale was the only warning she got, before a stream of words was sobbed out into her ear. “Trixie, Trixie, please slow down. Please honey I can’t understand you.”

“Sorry. I’m so sorry. You were asleep and I am so sorry to be such a baby about this.”

“No, no, stop right there. Never apologize to me about that. Do you understand? Don’t apologize for calling me ever. I am always here for you.” Trixie sniffed on the other side of the phone and Katya could sense her calming down. “Now take a deep breath and tell me what is going on.”

“Thanks Katya.”

Katya waved her hand to show that it wasn’t a big deal, then she realized Trixie couldn’t see her, and she felt a bit foolish. “So what’s up buttercup? Who do I need to kill?”

Trixie gave out a short laugh, and sniffed once more. “I feel silly talking about it now.” She sighed. “I had dinner with Kyle the other night.”

“ _Kyle _, Kyle?”__

__“Yeah.”_ _

__“Oh Trixie, why?”_ _

__“He was in town. I know that is a stupid reason, but he messaged me, and I just couldn’t say no.”_ _

__Katya sighed. She knew Trixie, and she knew that the reason she was giving was only partly true. Trixie had been in love with Kyle since the day they met. Just the way Trixie talked about him made her feelings clear. “What did he want?”_ _

__“He just wanted to talk to me. I said fine, and we went out. He paid and it should have been awkward, but it wasn’t. We just fell right back into place. He laughed and joked with me, and it felt almost normal.” Katya braced herself for the ball to drop. “I actually thought-“ Trixie cut herself off with a laugh. “I thought he might be trying to get back together with me. But nope. Turns out he is getting married.”_ _

__“Married? Oh no. Trixie I am so sorry.”_ _

__“He said it so casually too.” Trixie began sniffling again. “But I was completely fine, at least at first. I wasn’t upset or anything, and then I sang the song, you know, the song I wrote for him, at my show, and everything hit me at once. I just remembered everything about us. The way we were and how beautiful it all was.” Trixie paused, most likely lost in thought. “I almost broke down on stage. By the time I got off, I was a complete mess.” Trixie was trying to hold back tears. She was making that wheezing sound that she always made when she tried to be strong. Katya just wanted to hold her close. “I just left and I’m in my hotel now and I feel like a child.” Trixie’s breathing was coming out faster, and her words were slurring together. Katya could feel her desperation. “Cause I was over him. You know? I was over him. Especially after everything he did to me.”_ _

__“Trixie.” Katya tried to soften her voice. "You were never over him.”_ _

__Trixie huffed out a bitter laugh, “I know. But I should be. I shouldn’t care.”_ _

__“But you do, and that is ok. We can’t help who we love.” Katya tried to ignore the irony of her own statement. Who was she to give relationship advice when the only person she had ever loved was on the opposite end of the call? But she shouldn’t think about that now. All those fantasies were reserved for later times, like the dead of night, when the only ones awake were Katya and the stars._ _

__“I wish I could just love someone else.”_ _

___You and me both _. Katya thought, but didn’t say.__ _ _

____A silence settled on both ends of the call. The only sign that neither had hung up, was the soft sounds of their bodies inhaling and exhaling. “I miss you tons.” Trixie finally spoke. A smile broke out on Katya’s face, but she stopped her stomach from getting too excited. "You are the only one that ever can calm me down when I am being an idiot.”_ _ _ _

____“You aren’t being an idiot Trixie. You are just in love. No one can blame you for that.”_ _ _ _

____Except, maybe Katya did._ _ _ _

____Maybe Katya did blame Trixie for being in love with everyone that wasn’t her. Maybe she got angry about it every once and a while. Cause Trixie deserved better than what she got. She deserved better than Kyle, or anyone she had dated in the past. Trixie deserved only the most exquisite things in life. She should be adored and honored and cherished. Loved like she was the rarest jewel in all the land. Worshipped like an ancient goddess. Because that is what she was._ _ _ _

____And Katya blamed her for that too. Because how dare Trixie be…the way she was. How dare Trixie be the most interesting, brilliant, most wonderful person Katya had ever met. How dare Trixie make every day she spent with Katya the most beautiful, magical days of her life. It wasn’t fair._ _ _ _

____“Yeah I guess.” Trixie breathed in deeply, and breathed out. “Anyway, how’s your night going?” Katya couldn’t help cracking up at that. Her giggling made Trixie laugh, and then they were both laughing into the phone at each other. And for a brief moment, they both weren’t thinking too much._ _ _ _

____The laughter died down after a few minutes, and they fell into a comfortable silence. After a solid amount of time passed, Katya went to speak, but Trixie beat her to it. “Will you just stay on the line? You can go to sleep if you want, but will you just…stay”_ _ _ _

____Katya felt a sad smile tug at the corner of her mouth. “Of course.”_ _ _ _

____A small, “Thank you.” was whispered into Katya’s ear as she lay back down in her bed. She heard a responding sound from Trixie’s end._ _ _ _

____“Goodnight you Russian whore.”_ _ _ _

____“Goodnight Tracy.” _I love you _.___ _ _ _


End file.
